His Terribleness, Franco Zamora.
Nicknames Gallery: Koala, Giggles, Lesbian Fingers, Texas Lightning, Francooco, Cocoa de Frankenfurt, Phillip, James Franco, Chico, Brains, Ulysses, Scott Pilgrim, Ted Mosby, Watson.
Current location: Ellensburg, Washington.
Hometown: Laredo, Texas.
English Writing Major / Writer extraordinaire.
Feelings hooker Psychology major.
Texan with no accent.
Mexican with no language.
Former leader of the rebellion.
Arch-nemesis of Irony.
Currently on a quest to sleep a lot, have weird adventures, and maybe fall in love. Negotiable.
Upholder of autumn and chocolate.
Child of the apocalypse.
~The Soul Alchemist
I like for the things in my life to be connected and have meaning, but I also like things when they’re disjointed and separate.
You know what still bothers me?
The mascot for Ravenclaw house is a fucking eagle. Not a raven, the obvious choice, or even an owl to symbolize wisdom for the house. Nope. Fucking eagle.
in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?
i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete
like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”
"what sorts of plants grow on your planet?"
"i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say"
"tell us about the culture on your planet!"
"do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin"
"your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?"
"naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major"
i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.
i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”